Destiny? Sure, why not?

Hey all,

So right now I'm in Kitgum for a couple of days. Kitgum is smaller and less developed than Gulu. It's also closer to the Sudanese border (less than 2 hour drive away), which means it has seen even more devastation than Gulu.

So far my exceptionally epic experiences in Africa have been great, although different than I expected. I have wanted to come to Africa for about 10 years now; I expected it to feel "right" when I got here and that every day I would walk around blissful. Idealic and unrealistic? Sure. But I expected a less consistent version of that dream to happen. But none of it did. I don't walk around feeling as if this is the most amazing thing ever. And I struggled with that for a few days, thinking maybe I had been mistaken all of my life. And I started to reconsider Senegal for next semester just because this semester has already worn me down so much (Africa is tiring). And then I started to think about going back to GW next semester. And that's when it hit me. I can't really remember my old life very much. Africa occupies most of my waking thoughts. And I realized that my life in America is kind of boring compared to this. The reason I don't realize how amazing this experience is that everything I do here that's different from America, that's more interesting from America, is just my day to day life. I feel normal here.Nothing feels novel here, even when it is, because I just accept it as my life. And when I thought about going back to GW I realized that I won't truly recognize how amazing this experience is until I'm away and can look back on it.

When my Ugandan family asked me how Africa had changed me, I couldn't tell them. Even though it's only been 5 weeks, I don't remember American me. I remember the people in my life, but not really me. I feel like I'm almost fresh here. So I won't know how I have changed until I get back to the States and re-enter my old life. Then maybe I will realize how I have changed. Maybe I haven't at all. But all my being is consumed by my day-to-day activities here, my life here, Everything from America (besides the people) are a blur.

Maybe every moment doesn't feel "right" here, but I do think I'm right where I want to be. I can't imagine doing anything else or being anywhere else right now. So in that sense, Africa is "right."

-Nancy